Godward Toil

Biblical truth about anger

A friend asked me for theological and counseling resources related to anger.   In putting together some materials, I was reminded of two important biblical truths about anger that have helped me in my own life, and in counseling others: 

The first is encapsulated by something that C.S. Lewis wrote in one of his poems, "Anger's the anesthetic of the mind."   That is, we feel angry to feel better.  We express anger to feel better or to fix a situation that seems wrong.  When God blessed Abel, Cain was "very angry." (Gen 4:5)  God encouraged him to "do well," (Gen 4:7) but rather than engage his mind and the Lord in how to do well, he sought a shortcut to feeling better by giving full vent to envy and resentment.   It is natural, in the flesh, to try to correct wrongs and hurts through anger.  It honestly feels like it's going to help.  This is why James needed to warn us that "the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God."   It's hard to believe that sometimes.  The feeling that our anger is productive for justice is so seductive.  But in fact, our anger is a way of numbing ourselves from the feelings with which we can cry out to God.  Anger feeds pride and circumvents sorrowful dependence.

The second (which I first learned from John Piper in Future Grace ) is that trust in God's wrath is the best antidote to anger.  Every wrong perpetrated against me or anyone else will be punished in hell.  Every one.  The punishment will either rest on the perpetrator or (if s/he embraces Christ for forgiveness and righteousness), on Jesus Christ.  Either way, justice will be done!   Paul instructs us to rest in the knowledge of God's wrath and justice: "Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” (Romans 12:19)   David knew this when he acted with unbelievable restraint and felt such unbelievable humility in the face of Saul's anger and wrongdoing.  Over and over he says to Saul, "May the Lord judge between me and you, may the Lord avenge me against you, but my hand shall not be against you." (1 Samuel 24:12).

These truths together can elucidate almost any situation that relates to anger.   They draw out the deep waters of the heart (Prov 20:5) about which we are often deceived (Jer 17:9), and point a way toward peace and purification from anger's poison.

My Godward Toil Story (Part 1)

On December 9 2005, I was at a Christmas Open House at my pastor's home.  Around 9pm, I got into a conversation with a young brother who asked work and family.   I answered him honestly,  "I'm fed up with myself.  God has given me so many great things to do, but every time someone asks how I am, all I ever do complain about being too busy or stressed.  I need a change of heart and attitude, and some way practical way of keeping better track of everything."

Not long after that (I don't remember how long), my cell phone rang.  The caller ID showed the home phone number of Bill, a colleague of mine.  It was strange for him to call me on the weekend, so, concerned it might be a clinical emergency, I answered:

"Hi Bill."
"Tony!  How are you?"
"Good. I'm at a Christmas party. What up?  Everything OK?"
"I just looked online and didn't see your part of our presentation proposal for APA [2006 American Psychological Association Annual Convention].  Did you submit it?"
"What?  Oh no...no....NO!...Oh my goodness"
"The deadline is tonight at midnight."
"Oh no...no...no!  I can't believe I did this.  I am so sorry, Bill.  I'll go home and submit it right now."

I quickly excused myself from the lovely party and went home to put a proposal together with the clock ticking.  I had a terrible pit in my stomach.  If I couldn't do it, I would disappoint both Bill and the other colleague (from another institution) with whom I had agreed to present--for one of them it was a presentation about his central area of study.

I prayed, pounded something out, and hit "Submit" on the APA website at 11:59pm.  I took a screenshot to record the moment, then spent the next 2 hours searching the web for "time management," "organization," "task software," and every other name I could think of...until I figured out that the category I was looking for was "personal productivity."

(...to be continued in Part 2)

Godward Toil Pilot Seminar

Last month, my wife and I hosted three couples at our home to participate in a pilot seminar, "Godward Toil:  Peace, purpose, and productivity when there's too much to do."   I worked on the seminar for many months, so it was a joy to finally share it.

The presentation was 2 hours long.  The first half of the seminar focused on theological foundations--what does it mean to "Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men," (Col 3:23).   We examined scriptures about how God wants us to approach the full lives he has given us.  The second half revolved around methods for honoring God with all that he puts in our lives.   Much of the second part drew from principles of David Allen's Getting Things Done, and applied them in a God-centered way with a Godward focus.  The aim of the Christian Life is to glorify God in all that we do and feel.  That aim influences how one thinks about and implements GTD methodology or any other system.  In future posts, I hope to share of the mindmaps I presented (using MindManager by Mindjet).

It was a stimulating and enjoyable evening for me.  These were dear friends and sincere Christians--all ready and open to focus on what God wants from them "when there's too much to do."  It showed me how hungry God's people are to honor him more in how we handle the stuff of everyday life.

We had a lot to cover in a short time.  I started about 5 minutes late because of a clinical emergency I had to focus on from work.  Then it took me a few minutes to shift mindset and start.  That was both difficult for me, and a wonderful illustration of how God puts things in our lives that we don't expect or plan on.  At 6pm, he gave me a calling I didn't expect when I scheduled the seminar for 7pm!  That's what the seminar was all about.

Our friends had lots of questions, especially about the practical outworking of the principles.  They asked for examples.  I gave a few glimpses into my own system by showing portions of my task list.  I'm not sure if that was helpful or overwhelming.  I'll have to think about that for future discussions.

I requested feedback via Survey Monkey, and got feedback from 4 of the 7 participants.  It's hard to draw conclusions with that response rate, but at least the ones who responded were highly positive about the training.  I asked All would recommend it to a friend, and all wanted to participate in a follow-up.  Interestingly, when I asked people to rank what they most wanted in a follow-up seminar, extensive Q&A was at the top of the list.   I'll be sure to incorporate that feedback.

Overall, I am so thankful about how the evening went.  I felt like I honored God in how I talked about his work in our lives and how I handled the Scriptures.  I enjoyed doing it in that special, inexplicable way that one enjoys working in the Spirit, doing exactly what He wants at a particular moment.   And, I think my friends left with some concrete ways they could honor God more with their lives.

Re-thought, Re-named, and Re-launched

This blog has had some false starts.  I finally figured out why:  I was being perfectionist and prideful about the kind of content I would share on it.  I had the idea that I was going to post well-worked-out ideas about how to think about, embrace, and be fruitful in the work God has for us in life.  But I sat there not knowing what to post first, feeling frustrated and overwhelmed when I thought about this project.

Whenever I feel that way, it means I need to pray and think...to discern what God really calling me to,  and what is holding me back.   What I discovered is that a need a platform for working out those ideas, not a pulpit from which to preach them.  I need a blog more like what Merlin Mann of 43Folders described in a recent post:

"Remember that your blog is only incidentally a publishing system or a public website. At its heart, your blog represents the evolving expression of your most passionately held ideas. It’s a conversation you’re holding up with the world and with yourself — a place where you can watch your own thoughts take different shapes and occasionally surprise you with where they end up…”   

So, I have deleted some of my previous posts, and changed the blog subtitle from "Peace, purpose, and productivity" (which seemed to imply that I already arrived--the blogger's version of an overrealized eschatology) to "Pursuing productivity from God, for God, and with God" (which, I hope, implies that the blog is part of a pursuit in progress.)  I plan to use the blog as a way to pursue a passion God has given me to be more faithful in everyday tasks, more peaceful in adversity, and more trustworthy in my relationships and commitments.  May God bless this pursuit, this blog, and this weak Christian.