Godward Toil

Christ-exalting friendships: A parent's role (Family Miniconference)

Readers of this blog may be interested in a mini-conference I'm involved in organizing. If you're in the  Rochester area, consider joining us:

On Saturday, March 26 Journey Christian Church will hold a mini-conference for parents, grandparents, and others in the body the Christ. The conference is titled, "Christ-exalting Friendships: A Parent's Role."  The conference will kick off with a delicious breakfast followed by teaching from Bible about godly friendship and testimonies from three families in our body with different perspectives and experiences in guiding children and youth in their friendships.

The conference was motivated by questions many parents are asking:

• How do parents begin to train their children to make wise decisions in choosing the people that they spend time with?
• How do we find the balance between loving non-Christian friends, and being subjected to too much ungodly behavior?
• How can parents respond when their kids accuse them of "judging" a friend whom the parents think could be a negative influence?
• How should we communicate with other parents of teens when we have different philosophies or ground rules?
• How do we teach our kids how to be a good friend to others, including peers who have special needs or are "hard" to be friends with?

Breakfast:  8:15-9:00 a.m.
Conference: 9:00-11:30 a.m.

To learn more about the conference, to register, and to request childcare, please follow this link to the registration webiste.

Inspiring quotation about the value of writing by Harvey Newcomb

Christian brother Mark Kakkuri at 360 Writing has been putting out some really helpful posts. If you need inspiration to write or want a wise and wonderful way of framing the value of writing for a young person, read this extended quotation by Harvey Newcomb that Mark posted. I plan to borrow heavily from Newcomb as teach my children how to approach the writing assignments they are starting to get in elementary school.

Morning checklist includes potty

About a week after my last post about my four year-old son using Mommy's inbox for a birthday request, I found this index card on his dresser. I guess he's getting the checklist habit as well as the inbox habit!

Mommy's inbox is a good place for a birthday wish

 
My four-year-old son seems to have adopted at least one part of the GTD workflow. My wife found this note in her Inbox yesterday. This made me smile. He's watching our habits and he likes what he sees!  He sees stuff go in to Mommy's box--notes from Daddy, party invitations, educational articles, church bulletins. He watches Mommy faithfully process these many inputs onto action lists each day (note the InboxZero state in which he found her--what a wife!). And then he has the privilege of seeing the whole process culminate into action as she diligently works her lists. The boy knows a fruitful process when he sees it. He figured out that his chances for a "higHer Bascetball hoop.For my Birthday" are best if he presents the request to Mommy in a context in which she put it on an action list.

He has also started to put his preschool work into my box when he gets home at lunchtime each day. I think he enjoys having a place to put things where he can (a) trust I will see them soon and (b) not have to clutter his brain or room with things that can't be acted upon until I'm home from work. When I get his little treasures, I bring them to him so we can enjoy them together.

Now, all of this asynchronous communication through inboxes could lead a person to object, "OK, you're getting things done, but isn't this a sterile form of communication? I mean, is he your son or your employee?" Fair question. I can imagine scenarios in which children can only communicate their needs and love through the inbox of an absent parent. Daddy works 14 hours a day, so the kids can only share their drawings by placing them in an inbox where they get processed along with the utility bills. Mommy is so preoccupied with her own life that she wouldn't remember her son's birthday if he didn't put it on her list. 

The sin and sadness of those scenarios don't have to do with the inbox, of course. The problem is in the parents' hearts and lives. My wife and I are not immune to such selfishness. We need the gospel everyday to cleanse us and turn our foolish hearts back to the superior pleasures of God. As that happens, though, He does orient us toward nurturing, teaching, and encouraging our children. And as they experience us pouring ourselves out for their good, the inbox becomes an extension of a trusting relationship--a symbol of affection meeting action. The inbox and project lists bring the security that Daddy and Mommy guard their attention and keep their commitments.

Speaking of project lists, my wife and I have an active project to carve out some space in our home for each of our children (turning 3, 5, and 7 year-old soon) to have their own in/outboxes, files, and work surface. Although they are so young, God is bringing inputs into their lives all the time. They have ideas and goals and responsibilities. We keep a wiki for my daughter of writing ideas for her 1st grade assignment--our goal is for her to take that over some day. Whether our children will ultimately adopt these habits as their own, only God knows. But we're trying to share with them as much of what we've learned as we can. Whatever their habits, may they be productive for the Kingdom!

Related Posts:

A Heritage of Habits: GTD for the family

Q&A primers that sharpen and prepare

Nothing drives me to be more careful or thorough in my study of doctrine than teaching children--my own or other children that I love. Recently, I've been so helped by a couple of works in a genre of catechesis with which I was previously unfamiliar: fictional dialog. I don't even know if that is the official name of this genre of literature, but the idea is that the author teaches doctrine through an imaginary conversation between two people--one is usually a naive but interested young person or seeker and the other is a wise and learned saint. The dialog is not meant to be realistic, but rather is intentionally contrived to bring about all of the key aspects of a given doctrine. The two works in the genre that have helped me lately are The Child's Book on Repentance by Thomas Gallaudet and a A Primer on the Atonement, by John Gerstner. The Child's Book of Repentance is an old puritan book that imagines a dialog between a Christian mother and her children, who crave to know what true repentance is. A Primer on the Atonement comes from a larger book of compiled primers by Gerstner, portions of which Ligonier Ministries has been posting as a series (now on Part 5). Both of these are wonderful and have sharpened me to teach more faithfully and thoroughly. 

D6 Ministry Urges Radical Family-Centeredness

Our pastor mentioned D6 ministry in a meeting earlier this week.  I thought I had heard of it, but when I went to explore the website, I realized I hadn't.  The ministry is founded on the biblical premise, found in Deut 6:5-9 and elsewhere, that parents have the primary responsibility for instructing their children in the ways of the Lord, and that ministry to children should be aligned accordingly.  That primary responsibility rests on parents from a theological perspective.  But the D6 ministry leads mostly with a practical argument:  that children will always be with their parents and families more than they will be in Sunday school or anywhere else, so that's where the emphasis will be.   It's a productivity argument for focusing on families.  They even have a T-shirt that emphasizes the 1:167 ratio of hours in Sunday school to hours elsewhere. 

The family-inclusive small group my wife and I are working on is precisely in this model.  And I think the D6 Ministry's radical commitment to family-centeredness can challenge and inspire all churches to think outside traditional models of children's programming.   Whether or not one dives in with the kits and materials of specific ministry, that is a helpful and biblical challenge for those who desire massively productive ministry to children.

A lesson from a customer support experience from Pelotonics

As I mentioned in my last post, I am thinking a lot about ministry team productivity.   I want our children's ministry team to be massively productive for the Lord.  

We have a large team that is responsible for a large ministry.  One of the "tools for toil" I see as potentially helpful is a collaborative project management website.   I have tested several sites, and recently found one, Pelotonics, that I think will best match with the needs of our ministry team.  I have yet to roll it out to the team, so the proof will be in the putting, but my initial work with the site has given me a favorable impression.

That impression was strengthened today with a customer support experience that surprised and challenged me.  It was so good, and put such a stake in the ground for me in terms of productivity, that I have to share it here:   I completed a technical support form on the Pelotonics website with a question I couldn't find answered on the site's forums or wiki.  Within hours, I not only had an answer by email, but the company's founder, Troy Malone, recorded a video response to my question.  The response answered my question, and went on to offer additional useful information related to it--information I had not yet thought to ask for, but which will help me down the road.  I later discovered that Mr. Malone also streams live from his office during many points in his workday to engage with and support his product's consumers.

The reason to mention it here, other than that I was thankful and impressed, is that it presents a challenge to me to think outside of the expectable and strive to surpass it. This company has decided that customer support is central to their model.  Almost every company would say that.  But this company also decided to redefine what customer support means.   From a business standpoint, it will be interesting to see how this scales when Pelotonics grows, but from a ministry standpoint, it is relevant because whatever challenge our team faces, we should ask God to show us the best way to meet it, and open our minds for him to show us something different and more glorious to him than the status quo.  I think this is particularly relevant to ministry with children, whom many churches and parents have underestimated.   Scripture memory:  how about whole books of the Bible?   Lessons:  how about systematic theology?   Sing-a-longs:  how about five verses of the great hymns?   I think our church and many of the families in our congregation do think big about our children, but I always want to be open for God to show me something bigger--even to redefine what I think of as big.

Lessons about how great God is come from the strangest places, don't they?  Ustream??  It should not be surprising, since all of creation and history are a drama that is ultimately about Him and for Him:

For by him [Jesus] all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. (Col 1:16)

Current focus for biblical productivity: Church teams and children

I'm part of a new leadership team that is starting at our church to support and strengthen our ministry to children.  My wife and I are also working to launch a family-inclusive small group that aims to equip ourselves and other families to have vibrant and productive God-focused lives together, including discovering and practicing the most fruitful ways to have family devotional time, family scripture memory, and generally live a Deuteronomy 6:7 life with our children.

So there are two topics about which I'm thinking a lot right now, and will likely blog about in the near future:

1. Church team productivity.   I deeply desire for our team to be fruitful for God in every sense.  Part of the spiritual call to leadership is to steward well the time and energy God has given team members.   We want our work to matter for the kingdom.  We want to be wise and skillful for God, leveraging any available tools and resources to accomplish the work He has given us.   And we want everyone on our team to be strengthened by their service.
2. Productive avenues of teaching and discipling children.  Our church has adopted a phrase to describe our mission: "To make more and better disciples."   How do we do that more and better as a family and as a church with our children?

I'm thankful that God has shown me and my family some of what he wants us to focus on in 2009. In pursuing these callings, part of my personal discipline needs to be discerning how much will be useful to share here.  The questions I have to ask myself before opening an editor to compose a blogpost remains the same:  1. Could posting this thought/observation/link help me or someone else be more fruitful in God's kingdom?  2.  Will posting distract or strengthen me from actually doing?  We'll see how often both of these answers are yes, but I feel energized by God's leading and the synergy I'm sensing in what he is calling me, my family, and my church to right now.